Welcome to our live blog!
Please remember all profits from this Monster Movie Marathon will be going to three charities that will help those potentially at risk from the new Trump Presidency – Stonewall, End Violence Against Women and Race Equality First.
Are we being overtly political with this event? Yes – but Trump is a massive plum.
UPDATE: We’ve just counted all the money that people threw into our bucket during the course of the 24 hours and it’s an incredible £299.80 meaning along with the £955 raised online, Cancel The Trumpocalypse raised an incredible £1,254.80! Thank you Bristol and beyond!
11.45am: That’s it – we’re done. Me and the B-Movie Bandits did the whole thing. 24 hours, 17 (and a half films), over a £1,000 raised for three different charities… but now bed.
11.15am: Almost there… the end is in sight, I can almost taste it…
10.45am: Anyone else think Adele Jergens looks like Amy Schumer (or vice versa)? Anyone? Anyone?
10.15am: IT’S THE FINAL FILM – THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED… and Richard Denning is back again!
The opening prologue promises something upbeat: “What you are about to see may never happen… but to this anxious age in which we live, it presents a fearsome warning… Our story begins with… THE END!”
10.00am: The Black Scorpion vs. a passenger train! Only one can survive. Not the train.
09.20am: The Black Scorpion is actually pretty good and the stop-motion animation holds up! We’re genuinely surprised…
08.45am: So the alien succeeded in alluding Scotland Yard and escaping from Earth with his kidnapped female victims that he intends to use as breeding machines… Ok. That was upbeat. The Americans would have shot him in the face.
Time for The Black Scorpion! And it’s the return of Richard Denning who was Chet Walker in The Creature With The Atom Brain.
08.30am: Female lead puts her life on the line to save Earth’s women by confronting the alien in a battle of wits. Is killed for her troubles. Sigh.
08.10am: In what magazine does an alien place an ad in order to attract young ladies for breeding purposes?
07.50am: Lots of talking… and that’s it so far.
07.20am: Urgh. Thank God, that’s over with. Right, Night Caller From Outer Space – let’s do this. This is the final stretch…
John Saxon (Enter The Dragon) is in it as is Maurice Denham who did all the voices in the animated Animal Farm. Fact.
06.50am: Nothing’s happening… nothing’s happening…
06.30am: Jupiter’s 13th moon is like Earth? The people of New Atlantis? A moon full of women? No scientists sent on this space mission… so many questions and yet so little happening in this film.
06.00am: Dare you handle the terror of… FIRE MAIDENS FROM OUTER SPACE?!
I can’t believe we’re still watching this nonsense… and we’ve still got six hours left.
05.50am: The brain-control tech in this film is still years ahead of what we can do today, let alone the 1950s!
You’ve also got to feel sorry for the actors playing the zombies… I bet they were all classically trained somewhere.
05.18am: “The only time my wife talks is when I’m ready to go to sleep…” #Everyday50sSexism
04.50am: Godzilla has shredded Hedorah to pieces so now it’s time for…
04.40am: Oh. Your. God. Godzilla is flying…
04.15am: Hedorah has apparently killed 1,600 people… this film is winning the Monster Movie Body Count Award.
Plus Hedorah can turn into flying mantra ray, gas everyone AND fire lasers. Bad ass.
03.50am: This is actually quite fun! Everything from the heavy-handed environmental message to Godzilla preening himself before each fight to a cat getting slimed by Hedorah… it’s waking us up! This and the two cups of coffee…
03.23am: It ended… and it teased a possible sequel! Fuck you Reptilicus!
Right… come on, Godzilla Vs Hedorah (The Smog Monster) – wake us up!
03.20am: Oh God, this film won’t end… IT WON’TEND!
02.40am: Reptilicus seems to have been heavily backed by the Copenhagen Tourist Board. Don’t get us wrong, it looks lovely, but for Denmark’s first and only monster movie, we expected more monster. We’re 40mins in and it’s only just appeared… and it looks pretty bad.
02.15am: Everyone is Aryan blonde in this film… apart from Petersen!
02.00am: And they both disappeared… somewhere. It’s 2am… that means it’s time for REPTILICUS!
01.55am: They’re fighting… they’re fighting… they’re still fighting…
01.30am: And a Kaiju has shown up… from somewhere…
01:10am: So…. Frankenstein was created from his Nazi-enhanced heart re-generating a new body around it? We think…
00:39am: We’re over halfway through! Time for Frankenstein Conquers The World! Nazis! Toho Studios! Frankenstein… who looks just like King Kong!
00:30am: Despite an axe being on a wall behind him, our hero opts to use a fire extinguisher. Genius.
00.10am: Stealth mollusk attack!
23.40pm: OK – so while VLC Player converts Gorgo into a file beloved by our player… we’ve witnessed several divers and a young lady killed by giant mollusks!
23:10pm: Oh no, we’ve had an error halfway through Gorgo! We’ve had to skip to The Monster That Challenged The World while we try and fix it.
22.45pm: Gorgo: The most destructive and terrifying Irish export since Jedward.
There are some many woolly jumpers in this film. It’s like a Guinness advert from 1960.
22.25pm: Will a bombardment of mesic atoms against the bird’s anti-matter energy shield save the world?!
Yes – yes it did.
On to GORGO!
22.17pm: Poor Sally… all her ideas are taken by the men and she’s left to deliver sandwiches. #Everyday50sSexism
21.40pm: None can escape The Giant Claw! The bird the size of a battleship! He’s just taken out a squadron of jets!
21.10pm: Kong’s love for blondes once again saved the day and stopped the plans of the evil Doctor Who. Time for Movie #8: The Giant Claw! Behold the winged terror that has Donald Trump’s hair!
20.40pm: Dare you stand against the might of MechaKong and the fiendish Doctor Who? Kong dares.
20.15pm: Behold the face of evil! Doctor Who… and Kissy from You Only Live Twice.
19.50pm: So… so far, the Japanese Government is financing the evil Doctor Who (his real name) to mine Element X so they can ‘rule the universe’. How’s he going to mine for Element X? By building a giant mechanical King Kong because gorillas are apparently great at mining.
Meanwhile, the real King Kong is saving blondes from dinosaurs. You can’t say he doesn’t have a type…
19.30pm: The world is safe and Godzilla survives to wreck chaos upon humanity for another day. Time for Movie #7: King Kong Escapes!
19.10pm: It’s all going down. First Rodan showed up and got torched and now fighter jets!
19.00pm: Let them fight!
18.52pm: Our heroes are going to wake Godzilla up by using a sword and copper wire to shock him into consciousness by harnessing lightening. They’ve now been waiting three days for a storm…
18.40pm: “Quick! Get in there! No, wait, it’s a nuclear reactor…”
18.25pm: So far we have a cat burglar, a Giant Claw Kaiju and what appears to be a Bond villain with their own secret island.
18.00pm: We’re officially a quarter of the way through our 24HR MONSTER MOVIE MARATHON! Time for Movie #6: Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster!
17.50pm: Crabs can use the voices of the dead to talk to us through metal objects. Also they’re made of negative energy so bullets pass through them like X-Rays.
This is science people, try to keep up.
17.35pm: The soldiers are smoking and gambling with sticks of dynamite. They deserve to die.
Oh and they’re dead.
17.30pm: Apparently this film is 62mins long! Corman doesn’t need character development with exposition like this.
“Remember that first big H-bomb test – the one that blew Elugelab Island right out of the ocean? A tremendous amount of the radioactive fallout came this way. A great seething, burning cloud of it sank into this area, blanketing the island with hot ashes and radioactive seawater. Dr. Weigand’s group is here to study fallout effects at their worst. Dr. James Carson is a geologist. He’ll try to learn what’s happening to the soil. The botanist, Jules Deveroux, will examine all the plant life for radiation poisoning. Martha Hunter and Dale Brewer are biologists. He works on land animalism while she takes care of the seafood. Dr. Karl Weigand is a nuclear physicist. He’ll collect their findings and relate them to the present theories on the effects of too much radiation.”
17.05pm: Yes… Claire died. On to Movie #5: Attack of the Crab Monsters! Also, we’re £280 away from hitting our £1,000 target! And yes – another screaming woman on the poster…
17.00pm: There is a lot of female death in this film… although Claire is the Ellen Ripley of 1950s sci-fi… though she might have also just been killed.
16.55pm: Among all the philosophy, debating and moralising, it’s important to note that Dick Miller was a handsome man back in the day.
16.40pm: “Claire, what I have to do tonight is difficult enough! Your only making it harder!”
“I want it to be hard!”
16.20pm: Lee Van Clef is quite, quite mad and his alien buddy has shut down the world’s power systems and is taking over key figures in this small mountain town with alien bats… for some reason.
16.05pm: Lee Van Clef is talking to his alien pen pal from Venus on his personal home radar station… this is already amazing. Hopefully their love can overcome all.
15.55pm: Spider killed with science! On to Movie #4: It Conquered The World starring Lee Van Clef AND Dick Miller (The Terminator, Gremlins and Chopping Mall). Also, this was produced and directed by B-movie legend Roger Corman!
And yes, there’s a screaming woman on the poster.
15.42pm: Could the lesson we saw about electricity at the start of the film come back to defeat the beast? We think so – time to modify the power lines!
15.40pm: “Suddenly I feel hungry.”
“Hey I just remembered, I’ve got a candy bar with me!”
Sexual tension in survival situations – 1950s-style!
15.22pm: Mike Pence just sponsored us £20 – we’re assuming it’s the real Mike Pence – VP of the US.
Also, the spider is on the rampage! There is screaming a-plenty!
15.18pm: Oh no, the school teens have revived the giant spider with their rock ‘n’ roll! Those pesky kids!
15.05pm: “You get back to town and make up a coroner’s report. Just put down Jack Flynn as the name and the cause of death… uh…”
“It was a spider drained all the liquid out of his body!”
“Just put down “cause unknown” and let the coroner worry about the rest. That’s the trouble with you eggheads – you jump to conclusions! I know what I see and I see a dead man, but, uh, I don’t see any spider.”
Oh you will, sheriff! You will…
14.57pm: Oh no, they’ve fallen into a children’s playground area!
14.55pm: Dammit Mike and Carol – don’t go into the Danger Cave!
14.40pm: So Mighty Peking Man had a bleak ending – let’s not just kill Kong… but Ann Darrow as well! On to Earth Vs The Spider! Oh shit, and we have a death in the first minute!
14.35pm: Oh my God – evil British army officer has gone back on his word and is shooting on Mighty Peking Man AND Samantha. The fiend!
14.30pm: Mighty Peking Man is trapped atop a building while the Hong Kong army unleash hell on him. This is very reminiscent of another giant ape film…
14.20pm: The Mighty Peking Man is loose! Loose on a Gerry Anderson Thunderbirds set!
14.15pm: Things are getting rapey… and Mighty Peking Man is not standing for the mistreatment of women! On that note, remember a third of our profits are going to End Violence Against Women. It’s what Mighty Peking Man would want.
14.05pm: What do you buy a woman for her first taste of civilisation? A PVC two-piece. She seems to prefer nudity though…
13:45pm: The animal-loving, bikini-wearing best friend of Mighty Peking Man has arrived – Samantha! Plus we’ve just seen a jaguar kill a cobra and a romantic montage where our two romantic leads pick up a leopard and spin with it. For real. Animals were definitely harmed in this film.
13:35pm: He’s sucking out cobra poison. Honest.
13:27pm: The Mighty Peking Man features actual tiger wrestling. We haven’t seen this much wild cat action since Roar.
13:12pm: From Hell It Came is over! It was only 70mins long! Don’t worry, American firepower saved the day. On to Movie #2 – The Mighty Peking Man!
13:10pm: Dr Terry Mason’s constant screaming is causing havoc with our Scream Count…
12:50pm: Tabanga is loose and on the rampage! Vengeance will be his!
12:40pm: “Dr. Mason, you are wise lady. But there are many things even the wisest of us do not know. This tree monster was torn loose from the ground by a bolt of lightning. It roamed the island, killed many people. They called it… Tabanga.”
12:30pm: “If you didn’t want me to kiss you, why did you kiss me back?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s my metabolism.”
Portrayal of females in science going awkwardly…
12.10pm: The female scientist is being horrifically racist about the natives (“darky medicine”). She thinks they’re all heathens and a H-bomb should be dropped on them!
Saturday 26th November, midday: And we’re off starting with From Hell It Came (1957)!
Classic monster movie poster with a woman being grabbed by the creature! Already an Indian prince has been killed by his people for fraternizing with the Americans. We’re thinking he will return to wreck vengeance upon all who have wronged him!
We’ll be keeping track of how many of the films we’re watching having similar posters.
Also a kill count… and probably a scream count.